Zissy's Zoo

you guessed it yup yup i talked to benjamin this morning and he has decided to stay in charleston and give it a chance. this boy of mine truly exhausts me and he's 900+ miles away.

 (More)

i had a call from benjamin yesterday and he is getting everything step-up to come back to the boston area. he has called his old landlord and reserved one of her vacancies and he's looking into schools and work. i'm proud of him because he knows that he made a mistake leaving without checking everything out first but he isn't asking for help this time and he's pulling it all together himself. i will always want to lend a helping hand but i can't and i have learned through this as well. i'm being a sounding board and nothing more or nothing less. i need to know that he can make his own way in this world because i'm not in the best of health and one never knows. i might live to be 103 but i might not and i need to know that i taught my child to take care of himself because he is the only one he can truly depend on. i'm only saying that because we have very limited family contact and he is an only child so i have told him that he needs to choose his friends wisely and those family members that he does have to treat them with love and understanding. i think i have done a good job but of course i'm not perfect and neither is he. i want the best for my child and i hope that standing back and letting him handle his own life without my input will be the best gift i can give him. being a parent is the most wonderful job in the world but also the scariest. when i see very young women having children i wonder how in the world will they be able to handle the difficulties that arise? i was 20 when i had benjamin and i think that was way to young to have a child. we basically grew up together in the worst of conditions. we came through it ok but the scars are deep and slow to heal. our lives are moving forward and we can finally see a flicker at the end of the tunnel. life lessons learned with many more ahead and it will be fun to see which roads we will choose.

I talked to Benjamin this morning and he was walking to work while talking to me. He said it was very beautiful but too hot and I told him not to complain because he hated the weather here in New England.

Apparently his job cheated him out of about 75. on his paycheck so he wasn't very happy. When they find the mistake they won't even give it to him until next pay period and that kind of sucks when your young living paycheck to paycheck.

I thought he would be happy moving back to the south but alas he isn't and wants to come back to the Boston area. The upsetting part to me is he made living arrangements with his cousin and is now talking about moving after only one month. I have to step back and let him find his own way and I can't save him even though that is my first though always. I'm hoping that he has learned a lesson and will look at all the pro's and con's before he takes such a leap. He wants to start school and is thinking about the teaching profession and I know he will succeed once he puts his mind to it.